Before Benjamin was born I took this little pillow from my mom’s house. Someone had cross stitched it for her when I was born. I laid in his crib as I waited for his arrival. The pillow read: “A baby is God’s opinion that life should go on.” I learned this morning that it is a quote from poet Carl Sandberg.
Confronting Today’s Headlines
As I read the news about the elementary school shooting in Texas I felt stunned and nearly immobile. Not another shooting, not so soon after Buffalo, not children. I ran to my kids’ room while they were in another room and cried. I cried, I shook, and I prayed. Then I stood up and walked back to where I was so thankful to have my own children near me.
Not long after began a cascade of texts. Others texting their own grief, disbelief, anger, and dismay about the news. As I started to piece together my own thoughts, the image of this pillow came into my mind. This and a passage from 2 Corinthians 4:
“For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.”
That pillow always gave me so much hope for Benjamin. It’s not perfect theology by any means. But for me it encapsulated something — something I couldn’t even quite articulate. Being an expectant mom, and hearing terrible news you start to think “what kind of world are we bringing a baby into?”
Subconsciously, you know there will be a day where you will walk him to school trying to tell him, in the best way you know how, that a man did something bad while also trying to protect him from fear. All the time, you know you will watch him hurt, worry, wrestle, struggle, make mistakes, and on and on. But still he enters this world and your heart is full of joy and a new life and you think maybe it will be okay.
What is it about Carl Sandberg’s sentiment that I cling too? Is it a lie? No. Here is where I am at today: each baby that comes into this world is an expression of God’s goodness. We talk about how God’s image is reflected in each of His children and I believe that with my whole heart. Thankfully God also told us who He is in Exodus 34:
“And he {God} passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, ‘The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished…”
The Nature of God
Whenever I think about God’s image I go back to Exodus 34. God is compassionate, full of grace and mercy, perfectly patient, overflowing with love, He is faithfully with us always, He never runs out of these things, He never gets tired of forgiving, and also He is a God of justice, who does not delight when His image and the fruit of the Spirit are stolen from His beloved.
What I know is that each child who perished at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas was a revelation of God’s image and goodness. A gift given to all of us and especially their families. The force that robbed their families – and all of us – of their lives and of God’s goodness revealed in their belovedness was an act of evil. I say the same for the shooting in Buffalo, and each hate-fueled crime before that. The loss of those lives is a theft of the most valuable treasure.
Therefore, God’s goodness is also revealed in you. And because of what Jesus accomplished here on earth, we also share in His authority by the power of the Holy Spirit. This is where 2 Corinthians 4 comes in. It says we now display the glory of God revealed in Jesus. We are the revelation of Jesus’ completed work. We are a part of the kingdom NOW.
We say no to the forces of evil and those that partner with them in this world. By the power of the death and resurrection of Jesus, in His powerful name. The name of Jesus who sits the right hand of God the Father God, we plead for this violence and evil to STOP. Stop spirit of oppression, stop spirit of chaos, stop spirit of scarcity, stop spirit of hate, stop spirit of greed, stop spirit of toxic power. The kingdom of God is here and now and none of these things have a place in it.
The scripture also says that we are fragile, and God knows it and he is so understanding. He says He knows “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”
How to Proceed
So, first the invitation is for us to bring God the pressures of this World, the feeling of being perplexed at how this can keep happening, ultimately the deepest pain in our hearts and the pain we see for others. Bring it to Him in the rawest way you know how, be as honest as you can possibly imagine being. Remember God is perfectly compassionate and patient.
Then, open your heart for Him to reveal how He is keeping his promises and protecting you from being crushed, and from despair. Ask him to show how He is always with you and how He will keep you and His kingdom from being destroyed. He is faithful to reveal these things to you. I can testify to this.
Whenever I have come to God — in deep pain and honesty, even anger — I have been met with an overwhelming sense of His love and kindness. Even when I am not kind, even when my compassion is limited to those who I feel deserve it — His well runs deep.
Then pray for change. Prayer is not nothing, it’s everything. These horrific tragedies are a result of the problem of evil in this world. And the people that partner with it have come under the lies and distortion evil brings They have embodied the voices of oppression, scarcity and greed. We have every authority in Jesus’ name to wage spiritual war on these forces.
Let’s all commit to praying in that authority:
That we would see great change.
That the change would come in the form of equity for all people.
That it would come in the form of gun control.
That it would come in the form of mental health reform and increased resources for all.
That it would come in a great awakening to the reality of God’s love and kingdom.
This, friends, is a battle cry.
But also — I am a doer. I know how it feels to want to do more, to do something not just with your mind and heart but your hands. Here is what I would say are some helpful next steps:
Talk to Your Kids
I think it’s important that we talk honestly and openly about things of the world with our kids. Always in an age appropriate way. However, we should be taking the reins because, make no mistake, they will hear about the world from the world if we don’t tell them first. I believe this for a myriad of things, but particularly tragedies of this nature.
I wanted to give you tools to have these conversations and more importantly listen.
When you talk with kids about hard things. Always start as broad and mild as you can. Then let them lead the conversation with their questions. Only answer as much as you need to.
Listen, listen, listen to what they really want to know. It is always okay to say: “I don’t know” or “I am not going to answer that right now.” Go slow and breath. We overshare because we are triggered and anxious, but not them. Remember their processing is so different than ours because they just don’t know as much about the world as we do. So take heart - this is worse for us.
Example Conversation
NOTE: I have both a 8 year old and a 4 year old. If you are navigating a particularly heavy topic – like the tragedy in Texas – I don’t recommend talking to more than one child together, because they are at completely different stages of understanding. Here’s how the conversation went with my 8 year old boy this morning:
“A man went into a school and hurt people yesterday.” Then I wait for questions.
His first question (like ours) is “why?” And because I truly don’t know yet, I say “I don’t know.”
Benjamin asked “Is the man arrested?”
“No, he died, the police were trying to stop him and when they stop a man with a gun they often use their guns and this time the man died because of it.”
It’s amazing to me how our children ask what we are all thinking. He said, “then will we never know why he did it.”
I said “not necessarily, there a lot of ways detectives can learn about why someone does something and I trust they will try to find that out.”
He asked “did people die?” I answered simply, “yes.”
Then he started to ask for details, wanting to know if the kids were his age. This is where out of protection for his mind I ended the conversation. I said:
“The details are not important from here. What is important is that I want you to hear this from me. This is not something I want you to talk about with other kids at school or at the playground. This is something that parents should share with their own kids. If your teacher talks about it, then that is fine, but if you hear kids talking about it, I want you to walk away from the conversation.”
I continued and he listened, “What I believe is that you are safe at school, your teachers love you and keep you safe. I believe our city does everything it can to keep us safe. And most importantly I know when you are not with me Jesus is with you. And I am confident in those things. I love you. If you have questions, you can always ask me after school.”
Keep it simple, let them lead, remind them of what is true, speak of God’s character, and assure them of your love.
Do an Act of Kindness
Each time a terrible thing happens in this world, find a way to counteract it with kindness. When we see hate combat it with goodness. Here are some ideas:
Donate to a love or justice-oriented organization. I recommend an organization close to my heart: YoungLives. They work with teen moms, loving and empowering two generations. Reminding them that they are a revelation of God’s goodness. Using this link will support the Brooklyn Young Lives ministry.
Send flowers in for your kid’s teachers.
Write an encouraging note.
Pay for a friend’s or neighbor’s coffee (someone did this for me today!)
Text a friend out of the blue with a funny story.
Ask a stranger how you can help.
Pray with someone you just met.
Go spread wildflower seeds an open lot.
Make a beautiful encouraging sidewalk chart art.
Send me your good ideas for kindness!
Meet with God
What happened in Uvalde and Buffalo does not make sense, nor does any senseless shooting. The lack of reform in this country is nonsense. Trying to make sense of this is normal and natural because we are sense making people, but ultimately we can’t. But what we can do is sit in our pain, bewilderment and grief with God. Letting him in His kindness care our heart. Also trusting He is caring for the hearts of those who have been ravaged by these crimes. Then pray.
I love you all so much. I am praying for you. I am here for you. I leave you with this promise and blessing from Psalm 27 that I cling to each and everyday:
Lord bless my friends — I remain confident of this: may they see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
In love,
Elisa
Elisa Booker is Pastor of Children and Families at Trinity Grace Church and co-founder of Parent Well. Her littles, Elizabeth and Benjamin, keep her humble and exploring. She and her husband, Armistead, love names with more than seven letters and adventuring together around Brooklyn. She is passionate about seeing humans experiencing life free from shame and cooking really yummy food.
